driving back down the mountain sunday afternoon, I felt an overwhelming sadness come over me. I was about to be back in the lowlands, back in ‘the real world,’ and I didn’t know if I would be able to keep my heart this open, to hold as clear a vision of my dharma. fear and doubt started to cast their familiar shadows— like ravana stealing sita from ram all over again.
and suddenly, tears again— not tears of love or healing or bliss, but serious tears of sorrow, despair, and (finally) surrender. crying for help. show me how to be me in this world.
around the next bend, that very moment, a sign: a literal sign, a billboard. ONLY YOU, it says, the second O replaced with the face of smokey the bear. the second half is missing but to me, in this moment, the message is complete.
as in, ONLY I can carry the fire through this particular darkness.
as in, ONLY I can follow the red path of my dharma which is to a) heal myself, b) help others heal, so that c) we can together heal the world.
as in, of course: ONLY YOU is both answer to my old cry of surrender and my new cry of gratitude & devotion— no fear, no doubt, no ego— only You, only You, only You. only ram & sita, united at the heart. only love.
I am so happy to be home! but my quads & calves are pretty tight from backpacking so I think I’ll be spending the rest of the evening in various yin yoga poses. and drinking ridiculous amounts of tea, because I can :)
thank you for asking, my sweet lotus. sending you LOVE <3
Clarissa Pinkola Estés (Women Who Run with the Wolves)
all the sweetest wisest women tell me to read this book— IT’S TIME.